It seems as if every time I enter the Cancer Center I leave with a new milestone. A new understanding of how lucky I am my journey was on a path leading to health. Today was no different. Today I had a scan, I had an appointment and I left with a new milestone. I left with a milestone that all cancer patients hope to reach. A milestone in a journey I wish no one after me would ever have to walk down. Today I left the Cancer Center a cured woman.
As I write this post I find it ironic that God placed my 5 year cancer anniversary the day before Thanksgiving. With all the things we take for granted God reminded me today that I really do have so much to be thankful for.
First and foremost I am so thankful for a family who supported me in my journey. My mom who took off numerous days away from work to be by my side. A mom who stayed strong. A mom who supported my husband.A mom who let me cry, made me laugh and reminded me of all I have to live for. My dad. He was the first to hear my news. He was the rock who helped my mom in the struggles. He was our logic in a rather emotional time. My husband. Wow, what a journey we embarked on. After only 15 days of being engaged we were told that I had cancer. He changed jobs, missed social events, gave up normalcy and supported me. He was my main caregiver. I've come to learn over the past 5 years how hard it is to be a caregiver; I am thankful he stayed to be mine.
Next I am thankful for my brother and sister-in-law. Although they were living in England they were present in my survival story. My brother shaved his head and my sister in law sent cards weekly. They became the one thing I looked forward too. They checked in and stayed active in my journey.
I am also thankful for all the people behind the scenes. My nurse Kate. Without her I am not sure that I would have made it through this! She let me cry, reminded me it would all be over soon and found ways to make me comfortable. My doctor, Dr. Harold Londer. I was blessed with one of the best oncology doctors in all of Minnesota. He was informative, honest and tough. He told me that he would kill my cancer and he did. He was an amazing doctor and I feel fortunate to now call both him and Kate friends. Deb, the front desk receptionist. She cried with me and for me. She made me eat, called to check in and helped Billy with the struggle of a "sick fiance". She is an amazing woman with a heart so full of love. I am lucky to also call her friend.
I am so thankful for my beautiful girls. Addie and Evie are the reasons I draw breath. They are my life. I cannot imagine them not being here and I am so thankful God decided that he would allow me the privilege of having children. They don't yet know about my journey but I hope that when I explain it to them they are proud of their mommy and daddy.
I am so thankful. I can't explain the overwhelming feeling. I can't explain why I cried today. I can't explain the rush that went through my body when Dr. Londer said, "Well, your cured now". It was like this right of passage; a graduation if you will. Like the moment you go from a single person to a married person with a few simple words.
So here I am. Eight hours later. The same woman. A mother of two, wife of one, daughter of amazing parents and sister of an Air Force pilot. Nothing has changed; except it has. It has changed immensely. I no longer have to tell people I am in remission. That scary word that feels like the unkowen. The purgatory of cancer, if you will. I made it to the other side. I realize how lucky and I am. And for that, I am thankful.
