It seems as if every time I enter the Cancer Center I leave with a new milestone. A new understanding of how lucky I am my journey was on a path leading to health. Today was no different. Today I had a scan, I had an appointment and I left with a new milestone. I left with a milestone that all cancer patients hope to reach. A milestone in a journey I wish no one after me would ever have to walk down. Today I left the Cancer Center a cured woman.
As I write this post I find it ironic that God placed my 5 year cancer anniversary the day before Thanksgiving. With all the things we take for granted God reminded me today that I really do have so much to be thankful for.
First and foremost I am so thankful for a family who supported me in my journey. My mom who took off numerous days away from work to be by my side. A mom who stayed strong. A mom who supported my husband.A mom who let me cry, made me laugh and reminded me of all I have to live for. My dad. He was the first to hear my news. He was the rock who helped my mom in the struggles. He was our logic in a rather emotional time. My husband. Wow, what a journey we embarked on. After only 15 days of being engaged we were told that I had cancer. He changed jobs, missed social events, gave up normalcy and supported me. He was my main caregiver. I've come to learn over the past 5 years how hard it is to be a caregiver; I am thankful he stayed to be mine.
Next I am thankful for my brother and sister-in-law. Although they were living in England they were present in my survival story. My brother shaved his head and my sister in law sent cards weekly. They became the one thing I looked forward too. They checked in and stayed active in my journey.
I am also thankful for all the people behind the scenes. My nurse Kate. Without her I am not sure that I would have made it through this! She let me cry, reminded me it would all be over soon and found ways to make me comfortable. My doctor, Dr. Harold Londer. I was blessed with one of the best oncology doctors in all of Minnesota. He was informative, honest and tough. He told me that he would kill my cancer and he did. He was an amazing doctor and I feel fortunate to now call both him and Kate friends. Deb, the front desk receptionist. She cried with me and for me. She made me eat, called to check in and helped Billy with the struggle of a "sick fiance". She is an amazing woman with a heart so full of love. I am lucky to also call her friend.
I am so thankful for my beautiful girls. Addie and Evie are the reasons I draw breath. They are my life. I cannot imagine them not being here and I am so thankful God decided that he would allow me the privilege of having children. They don't yet know about my journey but I hope that when I explain it to them they are proud of their mommy and daddy.
I am so thankful. I can't explain the overwhelming feeling. I can't explain why I cried today. I can't explain the rush that went through my body when Dr. Londer said, "Well, your cured now". It was like this right of passage; a graduation if you will. Like the moment you go from a single person to a married person with a few simple words.
So here I am. Eight hours later. The same woman. A mother of two, wife of one, daughter of amazing parents and sister of an Air Force pilot. Nothing has changed; except it has. It has changed immensely. I no longer have to tell people I am in remission. That scary word that feels like the unkowen. The purgatory of cancer, if you will. I made it to the other side. I realize how lucky and I am. And for that, I am thankful.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Addie's Seizure
Last Tuesday Miss Addie gave us a giant scare. After taking a shower Addie was sitting on my lap and I was combing her hair when she went limp. At first I thought she just fell asleep but after trying to wake her and looking at her eyes I realized that she was non-responsive. I yelled for Bill and we decided we needed to get her to the doctor. When laying her down to get a diaper and clothes on her she went opaque. We ended up calling 911.
Within minutes there was one first responder and the sheriff at my door. They couldn't get Addie to respond and the first responder wasn't sure that he could get a pulse. Her eyes were rolled so far back that they couldn't check her pupils. (I never lost a pulse although it was very weak at times) They called for the helicopter and the ambulance from the hospital. Once the rest of the first response team arrived they laid Addie flat on the floor. Approximately 8 to 10 minutes had passed since she went limp and she started to wake up. She just laid there while 6 men were huddled over her and looked zombie like. Once she came to the color in her cheeks came back and she seemed "normal".
We decided that she should still go to the hospital but didn't need the helicopter (which they decided to call off) or the ambulance (they followed behind us the entire way, just in case). Addie, Billy and I headed to the hospital ER while our awesome friends took Evie.
While in the ER Addie had an EKG and the sedation for a CT. Typically, the sedation didn't work so they gave her the maximum dose. It made her super hyper so they admitted her so she could be in a crib to relax. After about 3 hours of hyperness she crashed and we got a CT. It was explained to us that if there was bleeding on the brain or a fracture in the skull she would be airlifted to a different hospital in either Rochester or Des Moines. Luckily, it came back normal.
The next morning we met with the doctor again. They decided that they needed to do a bunch of tests to make sure she was okay. After an ECG they sedated Addison again for an EEG (brain scan). After hours of waiting we found out that Addie's brain is normal!! The neurologist felt like Addison still had a major seizure.
He explained to us that seizures aren't always jerky. That petit mal seizures are lack of movement. Typically, the person doesn't go non-responsive, yet they seem to be staring, zoned out or confused. That after the seizure they don't know they just had one. And that they are normally very short spells. The neurologist had two concerns with Addie: she was out for 8-10 minutes and my dad has a cousin with epilepsy. He decided to put her on a seizure medication called Keppra.
Addie left the hospital Thursday morning with a portable heart monitor and a seizure medication. She seemed normal, tired but normal, all weekend. Sunday afternoon she started getting a little irritable and was freaking out over everything. By Monday Bill and I were noticing some weird behaviors.
Addie is a doer. She loves to be outside playing. Monday and Tuesday we were struggling getting her to do anything. All she wanted to do was eat, drink or lay. Not my girl. We had a follow up with our amazing pediatrician on Monday and he agreed that she had a seizure but wasn't sure she needed to be on medicine.
So he referred us to Mayo in Rochester for a second opinion and marked her as Urgent. Later on Monday I received a phone call that her appointment was July 25, 36 days away. Personally, that isn't urgent enough to a mom who can't sleep and stares her 2 year old down constantly to make sure she is okay! I have made 25 phone calls in the last 24 hours and haven't really gotten anywhere. They have decided to lower her amount of seizure medication and want me to watch her.
If things don't get better by tomorrow we were advised to go to St. Mary's ER in Rochester and they will run the tests necessary.
So as of right now it is just a waiting game. It's torture watching Addie hold her head and say owie without her being able to tell you what hurts.
We would like to thank everyone for their prayers. Most importantly we would like to thank our friends Anna and Jake for "parenting" Evie for the 3 days we were in the hospital.
Within minutes there was one first responder and the sheriff at my door. They couldn't get Addie to respond and the first responder wasn't sure that he could get a pulse. Her eyes were rolled so far back that they couldn't check her pupils. (I never lost a pulse although it was very weak at times) They called for the helicopter and the ambulance from the hospital. Once the rest of the first response team arrived they laid Addie flat on the floor. Approximately 8 to 10 minutes had passed since she went limp and she started to wake up. She just laid there while 6 men were huddled over her and looked zombie like. Once she came to the color in her cheeks came back and she seemed "normal".
We decided that she should still go to the hospital but didn't need the helicopter (which they decided to call off) or the ambulance (they followed behind us the entire way, just in case). Addie, Billy and I headed to the hospital ER while our awesome friends took Evie.
While in the ER Addie had an EKG and the sedation for a CT. Typically, the sedation didn't work so they gave her the maximum dose. It made her super hyper so they admitted her so she could be in a crib to relax. After about 3 hours of hyperness she crashed and we got a CT. It was explained to us that if there was bleeding on the brain or a fracture in the skull she would be airlifted to a different hospital in either Rochester or Des Moines. Luckily, it came back normal.
The next morning we met with the doctor again. They decided that they needed to do a bunch of tests to make sure she was okay. After an ECG they sedated Addison again for an EEG (brain scan). After hours of waiting we found out that Addie's brain is normal!! The neurologist felt like Addison still had a major seizure.
He explained to us that seizures aren't always jerky. That petit mal seizures are lack of movement. Typically, the person doesn't go non-responsive, yet they seem to be staring, zoned out or confused. That after the seizure they don't know they just had one. And that they are normally very short spells. The neurologist had two concerns with Addie: she was out for 8-10 minutes and my dad has a cousin with epilepsy. He decided to put her on a seizure medication called Keppra.
Addie left the hospital Thursday morning with a portable heart monitor and a seizure medication. She seemed normal, tired but normal, all weekend. Sunday afternoon she started getting a little irritable and was freaking out over everything. By Monday Bill and I were noticing some weird behaviors.
Addie is a doer. She loves to be outside playing. Monday and Tuesday we were struggling getting her to do anything. All she wanted to do was eat, drink or lay. Not my girl. We had a follow up with our amazing pediatrician on Monday and he agreed that she had a seizure but wasn't sure she needed to be on medicine.
So he referred us to Mayo in Rochester for a second opinion and marked her as Urgent. Later on Monday I received a phone call that her appointment was July 25, 36 days away. Personally, that isn't urgent enough to a mom who can't sleep and stares her 2 year old down constantly to make sure she is okay! I have made 25 phone calls in the last 24 hours and haven't really gotten anywhere. They have decided to lower her amount of seizure medication and want me to watch her.
If things don't get better by tomorrow we were advised to go to St. Mary's ER in Rochester and they will run the tests necessary.
So as of right now it is just a waiting game. It's torture watching Addie hold her head and say owie without her being able to tell you what hurts.
We would like to thank everyone for their prayers. Most importantly we would like to thank our friends Anna and Jake for "parenting" Evie for the 3 days we were in the hospital.
Monday, May 30, 2011
For Better and For Worse.
Tomorrow is my anniversary. Three years of married life, two kids and a few big life changes. I remember the day quite well. It was fun, really fun. It was filled with family and friends. Dancing, laughing and celebrating. A lot of people gave us advice and I wish we would have listened a little harder.
Marriage isn't what I thought it would be. I am not sure what I thought but it is harder then I ever thought. It isn't what you see in the movies. You don't have an argument and then laugh it off. You actually fight. Yell. Get mad. Cry. Say things you regret. And then you have to apologize. And again, unlike the movies, you don't forget. You remember the fight, the words and the pain.
Marriage takes work. It takes forgiveness. It takes patience. And it takes remembering that you are different people living in a house. You are going to have fights. You are going to hurt. You are going to say things you regret and hear things that hurt. You deal with real life issues: money, kids, jobs, stress, fears.
But you never face life alone. There is always someone at your side. You get through the hard times to face the good times. Where there is rain there is a rainbow. There is always going to be another storm but the nice thing about marriage is the longer you are together the better prepared you are to face it.
There is a reason that there is a vow that says, "for better/for worse" because there are going to be both times.
Marriage isn't what I thought it would be. I am not sure what I thought but it is harder then I ever thought. It isn't what you see in the movies. You don't have an argument and then laugh it off. You actually fight. Yell. Get mad. Cry. Say things you regret. And then you have to apologize. And again, unlike the movies, you don't forget. You remember the fight, the words and the pain.
Marriage takes work. It takes forgiveness. It takes patience. And it takes remembering that you are different people living in a house. You are going to have fights. You are going to hurt. You are going to say things you regret and hear things that hurt. You deal with real life issues: money, kids, jobs, stress, fears.
But you never face life alone. There is always someone at your side. You get through the hard times to face the good times. Where there is rain there is a rainbow. There is always going to be another storm but the nice thing about marriage is the longer you are together the better prepared you are to face it.
There is a reason that there is a vow that says, "for better/for worse" because there are going to be both times.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Who I am.
I am an emotional person.
I cry. A LOT.
I hurt often.
I love completely.
I laugh loudly.
I cheer for the underdog.
I believe there is good in everyone.
I am a great mom.
I get lonely.
I am a mama's girl.
I can't be anyone I'm not.
I am trying to figure out who I am.
I cry. A LOT.
I hurt often.
I love completely.
I laugh loudly.
I cheer for the underdog.
I believe there is good in everyone.
I am a great mom.
I get lonely.
I am a mama's girl.
I can't be anyone I'm not.
I am trying to figure out who I am.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Tomorrow is four.
Four years ago today I was getting ready for bed knowing that my life was again about to change the next morning. That I would experience chemotherapy for the very last time in my life. That from that day on I would no longer be a cancer patient but a cancer survivor.
My life changed that day. I was no longer sick, I was no longer held back by illness. I was free to grow, learn and appreciate all the things I had taken for granted.
It was a restless sleep. Tonight will be no different. I will toss and turn. I will dream and remember. I will appreciate and celebrate. April 12th always brings a restless night of sleep because April 13th is the day I officially beat cancer.
Friday, April 1, 2011
April Fools.
It's April Fools day.
I told my husband I was pregnant.
He looked shocked.
Then confused.
Then really excited.
Then he said, "Oh wait, April fools...right?"
I laughed.
He told me another kid would be a disaster.
Hmm. I guess we're done having kids.
Lesson learned.
Friday, March 18, 2011
I've lost all control.
I need to be told it's okay.
I need to hear I'm not doing anything wrong.
I need to feel like I haven't lost all my patience.
I need to know I am not alone.
Addie is testing me.
She gives me dirty looks.
She hits me.
She hits her sister.
She screams.
She throws real big temper tantrums.
She stopped listening.
There are days I don't even want to be around her.
I'd rather put her in her room then play with her.
Her reluctance to be nice is ruining her time with her sister.
I've tried reasoning.
I've tried timeouts.
I've tried yelling.
I've even cried.
I refuse to spank--but it's crossed my mind.
I don't know what to do.
She is her father.
She is so stubborn.
She is me.
She is so clever.
I feel like I've lost control.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Lent: Spring Cleaning for my Soul
I love this time of year. Not March. Not the snow. Lent.
There is something about this season in the church that is remarkably real to me. It's a time of reflection. Spring cleaning for the soul. Every year the Lenten season brings me back to the things I need to change. The personal goals I need to set and reminding myself to trust in God a little bit more.
Lent reminds me that I can't be everything to everyone. That I need to give to myself so that I am able to give to my family. Adding Evie to the mix has only stretched out my gifts a little more. I find my breaking point is faster then ever and my temper seems to sneak out more than I am proud to admit. Addison is in a season of learning. Testing boundaries. Seeking independence. As a Christian mother I know that God is leading her. He is holding her hand and helping her through this journey yet I am not ready to let her grow. There are days where I want her to stop learning, stop growing and remain my little girl. During Lent it is my goal to trust that God knows where Addie's heart should go. So as she no longer wants to hold the hand that holds her back (mine) I need to remember that she is holding the hand of the Lord.
My goals for Lent this year are simple by words. Pray more. Listen better. Love Wholly.
By action I find these to, for some reason, be difficult tasks for me. I want to spend more time with God. I have decided that if I can find the time for blogging, facebook or sewing then I can find the time for God. To talk to Him. To tell Him my struggles and to thank Him for the good in my life. I've said before, when going through cancer, that I thought that just once God gave me more then I could handle and there are days I feel like he is testing that strength again. I need to trust in Him. Believe in Him. Get to know Him, again.
I want to listen better. Fully. Completely. To God. To my family. To my husband. I hear. I listen but I don't listen well. I am so preoccupied by the stuff in my life that I forget to listen. This became so clear to me when baby Evie was on the floor cooing. Addie kept asking me "what's that" and I just kept telling her I didn't know what she was asking me about. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Evie had rolled over. Evie had moved half way across the room while cooing and I didn't hear it. I wasn't paying attention to the little things. It makes me question how many times God has whispered my name, told me to listen or given instruction and I've not heard.
Lastly, to love wholly. My family is the single more important thing in this world. I cringe at the thought of losing my parents. The thought of them not being here someday makes me cry today. I will be ruined. A wreck. Heartbroken. Lost. They are my strength yet there are times I treat them like my enemy. I take them for granted. I want to love them wholly. I want them to know that I can't live without them. My husband. He is a great father and supporter. He has grown into a great man. Yet I fail to tell him this. I fail to point out all the things I love about him because I am too busy. So while our marriage works and we get by day to day we are not growing together in love. I want to give to him my whole heart each day. I want our love to show. My girls are amazing. They are the two people I can honestly say I wake up for each day and have already learned to love wholly. I hope that when they understand they know just how much I would do for them. I would give up everything for them to be happy. They are my world. Without them, I am nothing.
I love Lent. I love that it makes me rethink the things I am doing. It makes me find a peace within myself. It reminds me, if for one brief moment, even Jesus questioned his Father by asking, "Lord, why are you forsaking me?". And in those words I find comfort.
There is something about this season in the church that is remarkably real to me. It's a time of reflection. Spring cleaning for the soul. Every year the Lenten season brings me back to the things I need to change. The personal goals I need to set and reminding myself to trust in God a little bit more.
Lent reminds me that I can't be everything to everyone. That I need to give to myself so that I am able to give to my family. Adding Evie to the mix has only stretched out my gifts a little more. I find my breaking point is faster then ever and my temper seems to sneak out more than I am proud to admit. Addison is in a season of learning. Testing boundaries. Seeking independence. As a Christian mother I know that God is leading her. He is holding her hand and helping her through this journey yet I am not ready to let her grow. There are days where I want her to stop learning, stop growing and remain my little girl. During Lent it is my goal to trust that God knows where Addie's heart should go. So as she no longer wants to hold the hand that holds her back (mine) I need to remember that she is holding the hand of the Lord.
My goals for Lent this year are simple by words. Pray more. Listen better. Love Wholly.
By action I find these to, for some reason, be difficult tasks for me. I want to spend more time with God. I have decided that if I can find the time for blogging, facebook or sewing then I can find the time for God. To talk to Him. To tell Him my struggles and to thank Him for the good in my life. I've said before, when going through cancer, that I thought that just once God gave me more then I could handle and there are days I feel like he is testing that strength again. I need to trust in Him. Believe in Him. Get to know Him, again.
I want to listen better. Fully. Completely. To God. To my family. To my husband. I hear. I listen but I don't listen well. I am so preoccupied by the stuff in my life that I forget to listen. This became so clear to me when baby Evie was on the floor cooing. Addie kept asking me "what's that" and I just kept telling her I didn't know what she was asking me about. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Evie had rolled over. Evie had moved half way across the room while cooing and I didn't hear it. I wasn't paying attention to the little things. It makes me question how many times God has whispered my name, told me to listen or given instruction and I've not heard.
Lastly, to love wholly. My family is the single more important thing in this world. I cringe at the thought of losing my parents. The thought of them not being here someday makes me cry today. I will be ruined. A wreck. Heartbroken. Lost. They are my strength yet there are times I treat them like my enemy. I take them for granted. I want to love them wholly. I want them to know that I can't live without them. My husband. He is a great father and supporter. He has grown into a great man. Yet I fail to tell him this. I fail to point out all the things I love about him because I am too busy. So while our marriage works and we get by day to day we are not growing together in love. I want to give to him my whole heart each day. I want our love to show. My girls are amazing. They are the two people I can honestly say I wake up for each day and have already learned to love wholly. I hope that when they understand they know just how much I would do for them. I would give up everything for them to be happy. They are my world. Without them, I am nothing.
I love Lent. I love that it makes me rethink the things I am doing. It makes me find a peace within myself. It reminds me, if for one brief moment, even Jesus questioned his Father by asking, "Lord, why are you forsaking me?". And in those words I find comfort.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Leaving the cliques behind...
It's time I get this blog back to what it was going to be, my rants and raves! My kids are doing great...so they don't need too many updates!
I've lived in a small town now for about 9 months. I hated it for the first 3, thought it was okay for the next 2 and have grown to like the simpleness it has brought to our lives. Don't get me wrong, I hate that I have to drive 30 to 40 minutes to get to anything without paying triple for it, but it's nice not having all that right at my fingertips too.
It's funny how in small towns you don't just know everyone around you, you literally know everyone in the county. You can't be sick, yell at your kids or have a bad day without everyone knowing about it. It seems the rules are different too. Drinking and sex seem to be just normal behaviors. Parents throwing keggers, allowing kids to have parties. Boyfriends/Girlfriends sleeping over during the school week. Different.
I know that drinking and sex happen in high school. I know that the temptation is there. But where I grew up it wasn't so OPEN. I didn't ask my mom if Jordan (my high school boyfriend) could spend the night. I didn't ask them to buy me beer or cigarettes. Nope. Not once. Never. Ever.
Bill grew up in a small town. Smaller then the one we live in now. He used to joke that you couldn't fart without people knowing about it. It seems to be true. He used to say that even after high school it felt like the adults never grew out of the cliques, the gossiping and the "he said she said" crap. It's true. There are days it feels like high school; cliques are formed, friends are hard to make and everyone talks about everyone elses life. I hated that about high school. I, personally, hated high school. It was such an important part of my life at the time, such a changing point for a child at that age. The questions of "who am I" and "where do I belong" were often at the forefront of my day.
I look back now and although high school was so fun. And although I made some lifelong friends and learned how to win and lose fairly through volleyball it isn't something I'd chose to do again. I've grown out of the ways of being 17. Instead of having a problem with someone and telling everyone else, I want to work it out. Instead of dating I enjoy being married. Instead of wondering where the next party was, who the next fight would be with or if I'd get asked to Prom I enjoy having my core friends. Knowing that Molly, Monique, Brian, Tori, ect. would be there for me at the drop of a hat, wouldn't ever hurt me and accept me even with faults is comforting.
It's hard moving into a small town. It's hard getting involved. It's hard finding people and having them get to know you. And you don't dare make a mistake. I miss living by my friends, I miss leaving the cliques and insecurities of high school behind. I'm doing my best to find people I can trust, I can friend and I can let all that go. I know they're out there, it's just a matter of time.
I've lived in a small town now for about 9 months. I hated it for the first 3, thought it was okay for the next 2 and have grown to like the simpleness it has brought to our lives. Don't get me wrong, I hate that I have to drive 30 to 40 minutes to get to anything without paying triple for it, but it's nice not having all that right at my fingertips too.
It's funny how in small towns you don't just know everyone around you, you literally know everyone in the county. You can't be sick, yell at your kids or have a bad day without everyone knowing about it. It seems the rules are different too. Drinking and sex seem to be just normal behaviors. Parents throwing keggers, allowing kids to have parties. Boyfriends/Girlfriends sleeping over during the school week. Different.
I know that drinking and sex happen in high school. I know that the temptation is there. But where I grew up it wasn't so OPEN. I didn't ask my mom if Jordan (my high school boyfriend) could spend the night. I didn't ask them to buy me beer or cigarettes. Nope. Not once. Never. Ever.
Bill grew up in a small town. Smaller then the one we live in now. He used to joke that you couldn't fart without people knowing about it. It seems to be true. He used to say that even after high school it felt like the adults never grew out of the cliques, the gossiping and the "he said she said" crap. It's true. There are days it feels like high school; cliques are formed, friends are hard to make and everyone talks about everyone elses life. I hated that about high school. I, personally, hated high school. It was such an important part of my life at the time, such a changing point for a child at that age. The questions of "who am I" and "where do I belong" were often at the forefront of my day.
I look back now and although high school was so fun. And although I made some lifelong friends and learned how to win and lose fairly through volleyball it isn't something I'd chose to do again. I've grown out of the ways of being 17. Instead of having a problem with someone and telling everyone else, I want to work it out. Instead of dating I enjoy being married. Instead of wondering where the next party was, who the next fight would be with or if I'd get asked to Prom I enjoy having my core friends. Knowing that Molly, Monique, Brian, Tori, ect. would be there for me at the drop of a hat, wouldn't ever hurt me and accept me even with faults is comforting.
It's hard moving into a small town. It's hard getting involved. It's hard finding people and having them get to know you. And you don't dare make a mistake. I miss living by my friends, I miss leaving the cliques and insecurities of high school behind. I'm doing my best to find people I can trust, I can friend and I can let all that go. I know they're out there, it's just a matter of time.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Evie went to the Doctor!
Evie had an appointment yesterday. She surprised us all gaining almost THREE pounds in two months. She is 16lbs 2oz! I am so proud of her! The doctor actually laughed and told me that now we need to slow down weight gain! She gets to start on cereal and fruit so that should sustain her a little longer.
She passed her diabetes test but he wanted to double check her liver enzymes, thyroid and one other thing I can't seem to remember! They had to get a needle into those little veins and after 5 pokes and a lot of crying finally got some blood. My poor baby was a trooper. I am still waiting on the results, I should hear this morning and then I will update this.
Thank you to everyone who has kept her in their thoughts and prayers. I am so glad we were persistent on the weight and sweating.
She passed her diabetes test but he wanted to double check her liver enzymes, thyroid and one other thing I can't seem to remember! They had to get a needle into those little veins and after 5 pokes and a lot of crying finally got some blood. My poor baby was a trooper. I am still waiting on the results, I should hear this morning and then I will update this.
Thank you to everyone who has kept her in their thoughts and prayers. I am so glad we were persistent on the weight and sweating.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Evie Update 2/23/11
Some people have been asking me for an update on Evie...
Oh where to start!
About a month ago I decided that I wasn't satisfied with some of the reasons that I was getting about the excessive sweating. After talking with our daycare provider and my mom I decided that I needed to talk to the doctor further about running more tests or getting a referral to Mayo in Rochester.
While talking with the doctor I explained to him that I can't believe the sweating and extremely full and potent diapers is normal and that I am starting to become concerned that I am not getting the answers I need. I explained to him that I trust him fully but that in my heart I just feel like something is still lingering. I told him how I change Evie 3 to 4 times a day because she has sweat thru her clothes, I explained how within 90 minutes Evie's diapers are so full she wets her clothes. I explained how she smells like salty urine. I explained my concern that she is eating ever 1.5/2 hours still and has only gained 3 oz.
He decided he wanted to see her again and run more tests. I can't tell you what he ran this time but here is what we've ruled out:
Cystic Fibrosis
Thyroid Disease
PKU
Protein deficiency
Milk Allergy
Reflux
Here is what we DID find. Her blood sugars numbers were "abnormal". He didn't tell me in which direction but he was concerned with her family history of diabetes. I have a few uncles, an aunt and distant relatives (grandma's sister, mom's cousins...) who have diabetes. None were juvenile and most were adult onset but none the less.
We go in on March 1st to test again when she's fasted for 6 hours. I'm sure she'll be really happy.
She hasn't gained a lot of weight in the last two months but she is at least gaining. She is thriving now. She is rolling over, pulling on toys and holding her trunk up. She kicks at things, watches her sister intently and sits up with support. These are all things she SHOULD have been doing but wasn't. She is also teething. She hates it. She cries, drools, has a temp and loose stools (everything Addie didn't do).
All in all we're getting somewhere. If they can rule out diabetes and tell me there are no more tests I guess I'll have to be satisfied. I've just never met or heard of a baby sweating as much as sweet little Evie.
Oh where to start!
About a month ago I decided that I wasn't satisfied with some of the reasons that I was getting about the excessive sweating. After talking with our daycare provider and my mom I decided that I needed to talk to the doctor further about running more tests or getting a referral to Mayo in Rochester.
While talking with the doctor I explained to him that I can't believe the sweating and extremely full and potent diapers is normal and that I am starting to become concerned that I am not getting the answers I need. I explained to him that I trust him fully but that in my heart I just feel like something is still lingering. I told him how I change Evie 3 to 4 times a day because she has sweat thru her clothes, I explained how within 90 minutes Evie's diapers are so full she wets her clothes. I explained how she smells like salty urine. I explained my concern that she is eating ever 1.5/2 hours still and has only gained 3 oz.
He decided he wanted to see her again and run more tests. I can't tell you what he ran this time but here is what we've ruled out:
Cystic Fibrosis
Thyroid Disease
PKU
Protein deficiency
Milk Allergy
Reflux
Here is what we DID find. Her blood sugars numbers were "abnormal". He didn't tell me in which direction but he was concerned with her family history of diabetes. I have a few uncles, an aunt and distant relatives (grandma's sister, mom's cousins...) who have diabetes. None were juvenile and most were adult onset but none the less.
We go in on March 1st to test again when she's fasted for 6 hours. I'm sure she'll be really happy.
She hasn't gained a lot of weight in the last two months but she is at least gaining. She is thriving now. She is rolling over, pulling on toys and holding her trunk up. She kicks at things, watches her sister intently and sits up with support. These are all things she SHOULD have been doing but wasn't. She is also teething. She hates it. She cries, drools, has a temp and loose stools (everything Addie didn't do).
All in all we're getting somewhere. If they can rule out diabetes and tell me there are no more tests I guess I'll have to be satisfied. I've just never met or heard of a baby sweating as much as sweet little Evie.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Pampers Village: Connect with real parents like you!
On Pampers Village, you can share tips, support, and experiences with real parents like you. You’ll discover more about parenthood through articles, videos, and online tools, and receive offers, samples, and coupons!
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Happy 2nd Birthday, Addison Grace!!
It still seems like yesterday that they started my pitocin to bring on the arrival of my baby girl but it wasn't. It was two years ago. Two years ago my life changed forever. I became the mother of the most caring, beautiful, funniest little girl I know.
In the past two years I've learned how to love unconditionally. I've watched her grow from a helpless baby to a happy independent little girl. I've taught her how to roll over, crawl, pull-up, stand, walk and run. She's learned sounds, words and sentences. Her hair has grown from peach fuzz to long blond curls.
She still looks like her daddy. She has his personality too. She is funny. No, she is hilarious. She knows how to roll her eyes and uses that talent quite frequently. She is so caring. She LOVES her little sister. She is often sharing her toys and letting us knows that "da baby. why's she cying"?
She loves to play with her kitchen. She is great at pretend play. She loves to read books. She would sit for hours watching movies if I'd let her. She is a great eater and it shows. She loves "juice" and chocolate "juice" is her favorite. The mention of any of the following words triggers her to run to the kitchen saying "pees, pees". Those words include but are not limited too: food, breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack, cook...
I love her. I love her more than words could ever tell. I love her more than I can show her. I love her so much that there are days it hurts. I hurt when she hurts, I laugh when she laughs and I love even when she doesn't love. She is my beautiful two year old.
Happy 2nd Birthday, Addie!
In the past two years I've learned how to love unconditionally. I've watched her grow from a helpless baby to a happy independent little girl. I've taught her how to roll over, crawl, pull-up, stand, walk and run. She's learned sounds, words and sentences. Her hair has grown from peach fuzz to long blond curls.
She still looks like her daddy. She has his personality too. She is funny. No, she is hilarious. She knows how to roll her eyes and uses that talent quite frequently. She is so caring. She LOVES her little sister. She is often sharing her toys and letting us knows that "da baby. why's she cying"?
She loves to play with her kitchen. She is great at pretend play. She loves to read books. She would sit for hours watching movies if I'd let her. She is a great eater and it shows. She loves "juice" and chocolate "juice" is her favorite. The mention of any of the following words triggers her to run to the kitchen saying "pees, pees". Those words include but are not limited too: food, breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack, cook...
I love her. I love her more than words could ever tell. I love her more than I can show her. I love her so much that there are days it hurts. I hurt when she hurts, I laugh when she laughs and I love even when she doesn't love. She is my beautiful two year old.
Happy 2nd Birthday, Addie!
Monday, January 24, 2011
A Kid Lives Here
I used to think it was really funny. I used to shrug it off. I used to have a clean house. But, the proof is in the pudding, as they say. A kid lives here.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Being Addie's Mom
My life as a mother is sweet. It's full of joy and sorrow in places I never expected.
We're starting the terrible two's now. And I mean "we". It's amazing how much one small, relatively she IS 33 pounds, beautiful blue eyed girl can shake up an entire household. Addie is the sunshine in my day. Watching her learn and grow is what makes me proud to be her mommy. But, as of late, I think I'd rather be her auntie, or grandma, or neighbor. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter, good times and bad but the temper that this girl was given is completely out of control!
She has learned how to go into the refrigerator and get her "juice" (milk). Originally I liked this idea since now I didn't have to get up every 3 minutes to get it for her. It was wonderful. Recently Addie has realized that there is more then just juice in the fridge. She has opened and successfully smashed an entire cup of applesauce into my carpet while I was showering, drug a 9 pack of Dora the Explorer yogurt up the stairs to ask, "peese?'. Pop has been shook, beer has been spilt and ketchup has been squeezed.
She also, finally, learned the word Mommy. I wish she hadn't. This is our conversation about every, I dunno, 3 minutes.
Addie: "Mommy, mommy, mommy"?
Me: "What, Addie"?
Addie: "What's that?"
Me: "What's what?"
Addie:"Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?"
Me: "What?"
Addie: "Peese"
Me: "No."
Addie: "PEEEEESE"
Me: "Still no"
Addie: "AHHHHHH" as she flips onto the floor for dramatic purposes of course.
Really, she can go back to only knowing Dada and I'll be a proud Mommy. Really.
Luckily for Addie she still has her charming personality, bright smile and ability to make me to go from pure insanity to pure love in seconds. She loves to help with baby Evie. She enjoys laying next to her during tummy time and taking her toys, helping change her diaper and LOVES to throw them away. When Evie cries she often tells her, "SHHHH, babe no" or smashes her paci into Ev's mouth. She loves to sing, dance and shake her head. She spins until she can't stand on her own two feet and then asks for 'mor?'.
The way she reminds me what true innocence is really like is absolutely beautiful. That little girl knows REAL forgiveness, REAL compassion and REAL true love. No matter how many times she has to take a break or gets told no she loves me. She respects me. She makes me so proud.
Being a mom, I tell ya, it gets better everyday.
*Side note, Evie is pretty awesome as well, I'll post about her progress soon!**
We're starting the terrible two's now. And I mean "we". It's amazing how much one small, relatively she IS 33 pounds, beautiful blue eyed girl can shake up an entire household. Addie is the sunshine in my day. Watching her learn and grow is what makes me proud to be her mommy. But, as of late, I think I'd rather be her auntie, or grandma, or neighbor. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter, good times and bad but the temper that this girl was given is completely out of control!
She has learned how to go into the refrigerator and get her "juice" (milk). Originally I liked this idea since now I didn't have to get up every 3 minutes to get it for her. It was wonderful. Recently Addie has realized that there is more then just juice in the fridge. She has opened and successfully smashed an entire cup of applesauce into my carpet while I was showering, drug a 9 pack of Dora the Explorer yogurt up the stairs to ask, "peese?'. Pop has been shook, beer has been spilt and ketchup has been squeezed.
She also, finally, learned the word Mommy. I wish she hadn't. This is our conversation about every, I dunno, 3 minutes.
Addie: "Mommy, mommy, mommy"?
Me: "What, Addie"?
Addie: "What's that?"
Me: "What's what?"
Addie:"Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?"
Me: "What?"
Addie: "Peese"
Me: "No."
Addie: "PEEEEESE"
Me: "Still no"
Addie: "AHHHHHH" as she flips onto the floor for dramatic purposes of course.
Really, she can go back to only knowing Dada and I'll be a proud Mommy. Really.
Luckily for Addie she still has her charming personality, bright smile and ability to make me to go from pure insanity to pure love in seconds. She loves to help with baby Evie. She enjoys laying next to her during tummy time and taking her toys, helping change her diaper and LOVES to throw them away. When Evie cries she often tells her, "SHHHH, babe no" or smashes her paci into Ev's mouth. She loves to sing, dance and shake her head. She spins until she can't stand on her own two feet and then asks for 'mor?'.
The way she reminds me what true innocence is really like is absolutely beautiful. That little girl knows REAL forgiveness, REAL compassion and REAL true love. No matter how many times she has to take a break or gets told no she loves me. She respects me. She makes me so proud.
Being a mom, I tell ya, it gets better everyday.
*Side note, Evie is pretty awesome as well, I'll post about her progress soon!**
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