Oh, religion.

Sadly the day has come and gone and I'm still pregnant. It's sort of a weird feeling just waiting for the day to meet Evie. Hopefully that day arrives soon and we'll be holding her in our arms.

On another note.


Religion. I know, I know, a very touchy subject but this has been on my blogging list for a while and I've decided to tackle it. Probably because my in-laws are coming to town this weekend and don't like that my husband and I are Catholic. They have always avoided going to church with us somehow when they visit, normally by having to "get going" before church starts. This trip though things are a little different. We are now 5 to 6 hours away instead of 8 so leaving an hour later isn't going to cause a problem.


See, here is my take on religion: it should be a choice. I will never ever tell you what to believe or treat you different if your beliefs are different then mine. I will never make you feel uncomfortable in my presence because of our differences and I would expect the same respect. I believe that you can't be forced to believe in something just because your parents think it's right. Religion is something that you have to decide, heart, mind and soul that you want in your life, otherwise your not truly believing.


Here's my point: My husband was forced to go to church. He often tells me that because he didn't know any different he thought that everyone went to church three to four times a week. As a teenager he started to rebel and live a life a little different then his family, mostly his parents. Once in college he did a 180 and didn't act "Christian-like" at all. He did things that would make his parents die if they knew and lost who he was. He often tells me that he always felt that when he went back home he wasn't "good-enough" or was being judged by both his family and church community. After college he stayed on quite a destructive path for a while. Until we met Bill was into drugs, sex and drinking. His life was anything but what his parents assumed it would be when he was that little boy in church. He was on a path to self-destruction. I didn't change my husband but when he met me, he changed. He had stopped doing drugs, quit sleeping around and although he still drinks it's not a problem anymore. He decided that he had something to quit for, me.


After we started dating we decided we needed to find a church home together. I was driving clear across the Twin Cities to go to my home church and it seemed a little crazy. We found a church we thought we would both like, New Hope Free Church. It was upbeat and mostly younger adults. We got connected but I wasn't getting much out of it. It seemed more like a performace to me then church. I was used to my Catholic rituals and traditions. I expressed this to Billy and he told me he'd try it out. It took a few times but he started to feel involved.


Billy started going to classes once we found out we were pregnant with Addison to become Catholic. I never asked him too, I never pressured him. One day he came to me and told me that he thought it was important that we believed in the same things and went to the same church. Since it was more important to me to stay Catholic then it was to him to not be a Catholic, he called the church and set up his first class. I was proud, humbled and honored that my husband would do this for me. Since he has become Catholic his faith has changed. He asks so many more questions, is interested in the reasons why Catholics do things and seems to have a relationship with God again. It was his choice to find religion again and it's better then ever before. Funny how that works, eh?


As for the way I will raise my children, of course, right now, Addison is forced to go to church with us, she is after all 17 months old. She will continue to go to church with us every week until she is old enough to make an educated decision on her beliefs. If she decides that this isn't the path for her she is going to have to have an educated discussion with Billy and I about her reasoning's. But, if it's just not that she doesn't want to get up on a Sunday I'll hear her out. It will be hard to let her walk away. But I know in my heart of hearts that she would at somepoint in her life, come back. I think thats the awesome thing about letting people make their own decisions. I fear that if I force her to go to church or believe in what I believe in she, too, will rebel against God.


I'm pretty open-minded about religion and church. I know that my relationship with God is personal and only He and I understand it. I don't like being questioned about my "faith story" or why I believe in God. See, I'll tell you all the wonderful things he's placed in my life but the relationship I share with Him is just with Him. Your relationship will be different. That's the amazing thing about God: He meets you where you are. His relationship is different with everyone and that's what makes it so awesome. I could go on and on about the religion. About how not all Christians are judgemental jerks, how in the end I truly believe that we are all praying to the same God in Heaven but I just don't have the time tonight. Instead, I'll end with this: Oh, religion.

36 WEEKS!!

Billy and I are off to our 36 week check-up to see if it's time to get this baby out! We are supposed to have an ultrasound to see what she weighs and then make a determination from there if we are going to try to have a natural birth or a c-section.

I've been having regular, non-painful, contractions since Sunday. I am hoping they are doing something as they are starting to become annoying. I think I'll be a little sad if they tell me that I have had no progress. I've definately "dropped" and Evie is all down and out front. It's thrown my center of gravity off and last night was proof of that.

I was up for the third time to go to the bathroom and must have missed a step and took a pretty good tumble down the stairs. I have a horrible headache and a little double/blurry vision, my neck, back and butt are all achey and bruised but I think everything is okay with the baby. We'll definately have the Dr. double check today.

I'm hoping that my prediction is still right and I have this baby tomorrow!! That would be fantastic to be done with this whole pregnancy!

It's almost that time!

Each day that passes is one day closer to meeting Evelyn. I'm so excited and of course a little nervous about having two little girls taking over my home for the rest of my life! I've got the newborn diapers in the changing table, man they are small, the wipes warming and the bottles washed (just in case). I've got all the newborn and 0-3 month clothes washed, folded and put in the drawers. I even have the crib ready for when I am ready to let her part from my arms.

I am technically ready. At least all of the stuff is ready. But am I? I keep wondering. I mean I know there is no turning back now. She's coming in the next four weeks whether I'm ready or not. I feel a little more ready then I did with Addison. I remember thinking with Addison, "what if I don't fall in love immediately?" or "what if all she does is cries?". And, luckily those weren't issues at all. The minute that little girl was born I had mommy worry. I loved her with an amount of love I didn't know I possess and she didn't cry.

Is it possible to have that much love again for another person? I'd have to believe so. But I'm just nervous about that. I guess it's one of those things that you have to wait for in order to experience. And here I am waiting. I feel like all I'm doing is waiting.

My guess is that Evie will make her arrival on Wednesday July 28th at 3:15pm weighing 7lb. 4oz. and will be 19inches long.

I guess we'll see!

Just Stop Breathing!

So there is always a tell tale sign I am ending my enjoyment of being pregnant. It's not the protruding stomach or the leaking breasts. In fact, my ankles still look like ankles and my wedding ring is still placed on my left hand ring finger. I can't really complain about the physical effects, although I am starting to feel my rib cage expand and my heartburn is burning through my body into my back, all in all the physical pains of being pregnant aren't ailing me like they did with Addison. Nope, for me it's my husband. I don't know why but the sound of his voice, the lack of urgency in his walk or the way he breaths tugs at my every nerve.

The thing is, he's not really doing anything wrong. Sure, he says that he wiped the counter off yet I moved 10 things off the counter to properly wipe the crumbs off. Or he sweeps 1/4 of the kitchen floor instead of the entire thing. It bothers me too that the curtain rods in our room had to be hung by me after 3 weeks of mentioning how bright it was in our room. But all in all, these are things Billy does 99.9% of the time and I just live with them. Not when I am done being pregnant.

Today was a rough day. Addison is teething, her last 2 teeth are causing her an immense amount of pain. She has had diarrhea and been so crabby all day. She's cried over everything. I gave her milk but she wanted juice. I gave her crackers for snack she wanted fruit snacks. She rubbed her eyes for 20 minutes but when I put her to bed she squealed for over an hour before I finally just gave up and let her get out. I didn't make dinner, empty the dishwasher or wash a single dish. I didn't pick up Addison's toys for the 15th time or clean the table. I thought that maybe I'd take the day of from being my mom. (Read yesterday's post)

But now it's 9PM and I've re-sweeped the kitchen floor, re-wiped of the counters, put more dishes in the dishwasher, dusted the living room and picked some of Addie's toys up. So much for taking a day off. Do mom's ever get a day off? I'm starting to think that the answer is a big fat NOPE! I don't mind everything I have to do at the end of the day, I really don't. It's just that walking around with a bowling ball between my legs is starting to ware on my nerves. Is it really so much to Bill to just stop breathing until Evie comes?

I'm turning into my mother!

As I am writing this I am enjoying my few minutes of pure and utter silence. The dogs and baby are outside with Billy getting all their sillys out from the day. It's my time. And all I can truly do is sit here and think of the 1 million things that need to get done before the lights are turned off and the blankets pulled up to my chin. Isn't it strange how, when it was just Billy and I, it was easy to forget about the things that needed to get done and enjoy our time together. And secretly, how we both longed for a little more noise in the house.

It's so funny how your priorities can change and your not aware of it. All of a sudden I've started turning into my mom more and more. I no longer can leave the dishes for tomorrow and can't stand a dirty toilet. It's happened so gradually that I didn't really notice until the other day when I said something to Billy that I'm pretty sure I've heard my mom say to my dad, "can't you put your dishes in the dishwasher". Then it hit me, oh Lord, I'm her. Well, maybe that's not such a bad thing. I think my mom is pretty spectacular most of the time.

So here I am. I was ordered by my husband to "take a minute to yourself before I weed whip" but instead of taking a moment I've looked up banana bread recipes so Addie and I can whip up a batch tonight for breakfast tomorrow, balanced the check book, and am now writing to all of you. I've got my to-do list going in my head: vacuum living room and Addie's room, hang curtains in our room, Addie's laundry, give Addie bath, do dishes. All this needs to be done before I go to bed tonight or it'll just weigh on my mind until morning. Priorities.

I used to think that growing up sucked. That being an adult seemed so boring. Between housework, paying bills and going to work where was the fun. Now that I am an adult I find that I don't find it boring at all. I find it rewarding to go to work (or at least wake up to work), pay my bills and do housework. We also find time to have fun. In fact, my day of work is filled with fun moments with Addison and I feel so blessed to have her. Although adulthood can be scary and often very overwhelming it's also a journey that I am enjoying. Soon our family will be complete and we can start planning on creating memories for them. I love having new priorities.

He's just a little different

So I was reading US Weekly, ya know, my bible yesterday and read this quote by Courtney Cox. It said something like, all the quirks we love about our mate when we're dating usually end up being the things we can stand once we're married.

I found this interesting as I really thought about it. I've been married to my amazing husband for 2 years and 3 months already and I find this to be incredibly true! I was 22 when I met Billy and loved going out. So did Billy. He is pretty good at putting a beer or two back in little to no time at all. In fact, that song "I'm pretty good at drinking beer" might be his theme song. Don't get me wrong, Billy isn't a big party animal anymore but I am known to get upset with him when we throws back 6 beers in the time I drink one.

Another thing I loved about Billy was that he would decide he wanted something and he'd go out and get it. For example, we bought our living room furniture within 2 hours of Billy closing on the house in Robbinsdale. Or if we decided we wanted to go to a concert we got online and bought tickets. I loved this about Billy. I thought it was spontaneous and fun. It also wasn't my money so that made it a little better too. Well, it is now my biggest complaint about Billy. It drives me insane that he has spent his "allowance" before it even hits his bank account. I can't ever figure out why he has no money and it drives me insane that he doesn't think through his purchases before he buys. He decides he needs a riding lawn mower, finds someone who has one and BAM we own a riding lawn mower. I love my husband but this is why he is allotted a small amount of his paycheck each month.

I'm sure there are things that I do that drive him insane! It never used to bother him that I am messy. I'm not exactly the best at getting my dirty clothes into the laundry basket and I never make the bed, well, unless we're having company. He never complained when we were dating. Now, you'd think that my bra on the bathroom floor was a deadly bomb the way he over-reacts when it's there. Gee buddy, you used to love seeing my bras on the floor.

We also used to eat out probably 5 times a week. I wasn't exactly the best cook and didn't really enjoy cooking. He didn't seem to mind. We'd eat out, hang out and then go back to my apartment. He never complained, never asked me to make dinner more often. He would call and ask where we were going to dinner instead of what we were having for dinner. Now, we MIGHT go out once a week. If I tell him I don't want to cook and that we're going out he gets all uptight on me telling me that it's a waste of money. My response is always, well you could make dinner tonight and within 15 minutes we're all loaded up on our way to the restaurant.

It's funny how true that quote is. I love my husband. I love that we have these silly little things that drive us insane. It keeps the relationship real. Imagine if we stayed in that "honeymoon" period of dating and things never got stressful. How boring would that be? It's Billy's little quirks, like reading Tractor House magazine cover to cover that make me remember why I love him. He's just a little different.

Residents.

First off I want to say that I know that this doesn't apply to every resident in the medical field. In fact, I have a family friend who is in her last rounds of medical school and I know that she is a fantastic doctor. I also know that all doctors have to have, at some point in the career, been a resident. With that said, I will not let another resident touch me during this pregnancy.

As you all know, if your keeping up with the blog, that I was in admitted in the hospital in Duluth and was 1 to 1.5 cm dilated. I was checked by certified doctors and I trust them being that they work at one of the best labor and delivery hospitals in Minnesota. Well, I've been home now for 3 weeks since then and thank God I still have Evie in the womb. I've been in the L&D here in Mason City three times.

The first time I was there I had a FANTASTIC experience. My nurse was so compassionate and I could tell she was both trying to calm me and assure me that I would be okay. I was having contractions every 3 to 5 minutes and when Dr. Tan (again, not a resident) checked me I was 1.5 cm and soft. He was obviously concerned and a little worried that he wasn't going to get labor stopped. Well, thankfully, he did get it stopped. He then told me not to scare him like that again!

The second time I was there I had a horrible nurse who pretty much told me that my contractions weren't very strong and that there weren't enough of them. Then I had a resident check me who I'm not sure spoke more then 10 words of English. He couldn't really explain to me what he was doing or why he was doing it. I left with another shot to stop labor but wasn't sure if I was really in labor or not. Not a real great experience but not horrible.

Today was the third time. Guess what, I got the same nurse, Gloria. Gloria has the bedside manner of a rock. You could tell that she was annoyed that Billy and I had Addie with us. Well, to bad Gloria, we know NO ONE in town to help us watch her. Addie was excellent by the way. She asked me all the questions that they ask and then looked at my paper and said to me, why are you here your contractions aren't that strong. Well, Gloria, I'm here because I haven't felt my baby move in 4 hours and my REAL doctor seemed a little concerned about that and all the pressure I've been feeling for a few days. It was a little dis-en-heartening within the first 10 minutes of being there. So Dr. Deborah was on call. He is from Ghana is super hard to understand but very nice. He told me that the baby looks great and that I'm probably not feeling movements because I am completely out of room. He then told me that a resident was going to come in and check me. Okay, we'll try this again. Then walks in this resident and immediately I recognize her.

She diagnosed Addie wrong with February. She told us that Addie just had a viral infection and would get over it. Three days later I brought Addison back in and she saw a different doctor who told me Addie had croup and a double ear infection that looked like it was pretty severe. Really? Just three days ago she was fine. I was so upset.

Okay, well back to today. I'm feeling a little unsure about this resident. She was so condescending, talking to me like I was a complete idiot. Explaining to me that I feel pressure because Evie's head is low. No shit. That I'm still early to be in labor. I know that too, genius. Then she checks me. First of all, she searched so long for my cervix that I was starting to wonder if she was going to pitch a tent and spend the night. She had the nurse put FOUR towels under my hips and finally found it. Jackpot. She tells the nurse that I am closed, thick and -3. Well, guess what, -3 is impossible because an ultrasound showed that I only have 2 cm not 3 not 4 just 2. I've also had 3 other doctors, graduated, done with their residency, doctors tell me that I am 1-1.5 cm and soft. Ugh. They sent me home telling me that they needed me to make some progress at home.

I have no problem being at home, in fact, I prefer it. Again, I was told by my doctor to go in today. I didn't think I was going into labor but he wasn't so sure. I'm still contracting but until Evie is causing so much pain I can't take it anymore, I'm done going to labor and delivery. And, at my next appointment you can bet I am changing that little sheet of paper that says I'll allow residents to participate in my care. I am done with them. So now I'm home. Counting contractions, fetal movements and the number of times Ali on the bachelorette says the word 'amazing'.

I'm glad that Evie is still in, really, I am. I am anxious to meet her and the way I was starting to feel today I think I'm a little let down. With that said, I'm just feeling frustrated and overwhelmed. I am not sure how I am going to feel this much pressure and feel like with every step I take a bambino is going to fall out while watching Addison and giving her the love & attention she needs. And let me tell you, she's busy!!

I think the moral of my story is I'm bummed out but waiting patiently. Oh, and NO MORE RESIDENTS.

Random ramblings for today!

I am the only one who is sick of all the political campaigns that are running on TV already? I think they should make some sort of law that the slander and rude commercials cannot be started until September. I mean, that still gives them two entire months to ruin each other's lives. And let's be honest, what you publish on TV about your opponent isn't going to sway my decision. I'm going to do my research on you. I'm going to find out what you've voted for or against and I am going to educate myself with more then the propaganda that you place on TV about your opponent. At least, if I am a responsible American that is what I am going to do.

Here is another random thought. I'm not going to blame BP or the government, although I believe that the government should have stepped in and made BP do something earlier, about the oil spill. Passing blame between the two is a waste of time and obviously not going to solve the issue at hand. But for the sake of BP don't you think they'd turn that webcam off? I mean, is it really helping their cause to show America and the world for that fact the millions of gallons of oil being spilled into the ocean every day? I don't think so. Let's shut it off. It's so depressing. I've never felt so sorry for the people of the gulf coast. Can you imagine what this is doing to their economy? I know we know that people are suffering now but the suffering isn't going to end just because we plug up the hole. This is going to be a suffering that goes on for years, maybe decades and sadly affects more then just the gulf coast. It's very sad.

I haven't been following the national news much lately. It's just to depressing and since I already feel like a beached whale, adding depression to that doesn't sound like a good idea. I have been ready kare11.com quite often though and I've come to realize that a lot of people have been dying in Minneapolis lately. Tons of car accidents, murders, little kids wandering around on bikes being hit. It's starting to make me wonder what's going on. Okay, murders, I get. Not that I think it's okay but unfortunately there will always be someone who is going to go to violence. But the amount of deaths from car accidents seems amazing to me and I've read about a 2 and 5 year old being out at night once which resulted in a hit and run. I don't get it. It's summer and I know that increases the amount of people out and about but why do we lose our sense of caution? I guess I'll keep Addie on her harness when we're in public.

Okay, sorry you have to suffer through my ramblings. My husband is out mowing the lawn and I needed to get my thoughts out to someone!! Have a great night and try, if it's possible, to stay cool!

What a week!

What a week. Apparently Evie has a different motive then Addie did in the womb. Addie's tactic was "stay in as long as possible, it's warm in here" and Evie's is "I'm ready world, let me out!" My view on it is that Evie hears all the fun that Addie and I have together and wants to join in not knowing yet that fun for her is still (hopefully) 6 weeks away!

It all started last Friday, July 2. Billy took a week off and we were all ready to head to the cabin about 45 minutes north of Duluth, MN. I woke up Friday morning with some contractions so we waited around the house for an extra hour or so waiting for them to go away, which they did. We rounded up the dogs and Addie and were on our way. We stopped for lunch and all of a sudden I started having these contractions I couldn't breath through. Weird, but okay. This went on for about 40 minutes before I confessed to Billy that I was having contractions EIGHT minutes apart. We called my doctor and the nurse advised us to get to the closest hospital.

Well, luckily for me, St. Mary's Medical Center in Duluth has one of the best NICU's around. We pulled in around 12:30PM and they started monitoring me. Sure enough, I was dilated to 1/2 25% effaced and soft. They gave me a shot of turbutaline to stop my contractions and watched. Little Evie was persistent and was still trying for her great escape. They decided that I needed to get a series of Betamethasone shots so that if Evie won and came to visit us her lungs would have a better chance at being developed enough for her to breath on her own. I spent the night in the hospital a little peeved that my vacation was being spent in the Birthing Center, since I was only 32 weeks 4 days along. URG.

We are so blessed that we have such amazing friends (or as I call them all FAMILY) in Duluth. It was over 90 degrees on Friday and we had our 4 dogs and a cooler full of cabin yummys in our truck. Not to mention that in the first 5 minutes we were in our room Addison managed to find the 3 nurse call buttons and press them all. I called the Palmstien's and luckily Diane was home. We asked if we could drop the 4 dogs off until mom and dad made it up a few hours later to get them out of the heat. She agreed and was kind enough to offer to take Addison as well. What a relief, I wasn't sure how she was going to survive in my room until 8:30PM when my parents would finally make it to Duluth.

So, back to delivery. I had a bunch of tests done in the first couple hours I was there. One is called a FERN test. They swab you to see if you are leaking amniotic fluid. They put it on a slide and if you are it actually crystallizes to look like a fern. FERN test, negative. Good sign. Next test I had was to see if there was any infections. Infections, negative. Good sign. The last test they did is called a fetal fibronecton next. This tests to see if your chances to deliver in the next two weeks is positive or negative. Fetal Fibronecton, positive. Damn, I was on a roll. Okay, well this is one of those "stupid" pregnancy tests they do where even when positive it doesn't mean you WILL go into labor in the next two weeks, it just means you MIGHT. What the...

So I was admitted. Fed. And told to "get some rest". Have you ever slept in a labor and delivery bed? If not, let me explain how uncomfortable they are. More so then any other hospital bed because there is there crease, right at your butt, that drops out or down for when you do go into labor. There is little to no padding and I'm pretty sure sleeping on the floor would have been more comfortable. Billy lucked out and they rolled him in this nice soft mattress to sleep on. Beats sleeping on the "lazy boy" made of plastic. He laid down to sleep Friday night and snored while I tossed and turned.

My dad was our entertainment for the weekend. He had these "projects" he wanted Billy's help with at the cabin. One was to build a rock wall break and then spread sand on the beach. (Gee, it only took 2.75 grand kids for him to finally give in, I get it) He also LOVES my dogs. Actually, he does really love Toby. Toby is grandpa's favorite. Well, anyway, each time we would call he would ask one of two things: how are you going to get these dogs? OR is Billy going to come to the cabin today? First off, the dogs were the least of our concerns at this point. They were at the lake doing dog things. Chill out. Secondly, my husband isn't leaving the hospital where I am having pre-term labor to hang out with you at the cabin. This literally went on every time we called. Oh dad.

So now it is Saturday and I am feeling great. Expecting that at 5pm I'll get the second of the Betamethasone shots and be on my merry way. I had a wedding to attend after all. My very good friend since I was two, Kurt Johnson, was getting married at his family's cabin and I was not happy that they were going to make me miss it. Well, about noon I started having this pain in my uterus I couldn't control. It literally hit like a ton of bricks and I went from no pain to sobbing in 30 seconds. They couldn't get it under control and ended up giving me another shot of turbutaline and some pain medication. Whew, after an hour I was feeling super drugged but much better. Okay, that was weird. About two hours later I had the same pain. My entire abdomen because hard and I was sobbing. This time I got through it on my own and fell asleep. Five o'clock came and I got my second shot and grim news. I wasn't going home. I continued to contract but nothing was really happening. They withheld food from me on Saturday because they couldn't explain why I was having these horrible pains. The words, "exploratory surgery" came up a couple times and it made me a little nervous. Well, all in all they decided I needed to fart. Seriously. Stop laughing. They thought that all the medications had caused a build up of gas and I needed to get it out. They gave me this horrible cocktail to drink and told me to see what happened.

I'll tell you what happened. I burped and farted for about 15 minutes and had some sweet relief. Beats surgery.

Sunday morning came and I had decided I didn't care what they said two things were happening: one, I was being discharged two, I was going to the cabin. The doctor wanted me to drive ALL the way back to Iowa thinking then I was closer to a hospital. WRONG. I am an hour away from Mercy because of all the road construction. From the cabin to St. Mary's is 45 minutes. I begged, pleaded and explained that I felt I would have my parents around if I went to the cabin which was better for me. They finally agreed. YES! So, Sunday I was discharged and Billy and I were on our way to the cabin.

We enjoyed our time with Addie in the lake. She loves the water. She also loves her daddy. Whew, she didn't care that I wanted to hug her and had missed her more then anything. She put her hands out right to daddy. ALL WEEKEND. It was like I didn't birth her, I didn't feed her, I didn't exist. Oh well, gotta let Billy have his glory when he can. We took a few pontoon rides, Dad did his fourth of July fireworks and we played pfifer. It was so nice to relax in the sun. I followed all the rules and felt pretty good while we were there. Had a few episodes of contractions but I took my pills and they went away.

We got back from the cabin, without Addie, on Tuesday. About 4:30 I started peeing literally every 5 minutes. It would just keep coming and I started to wonder in my water broke. Well, finally about 6:30 I called the nurse line and explained my situation. She wanted me to go in. We drove the hour ride to the hospital both extremely calm. I had this weird feeling this was the day. We got to the Birthing Center and within 15 minutes I was hooked up to an IV, had blood drawn, was checked to find out I was 1/2 to 1 and on the monitors. My contractions were 3 to 5 minutes apart. I kept saying, um, I have a lot of pressure like I wanna push which I am pretty sure freaked my nurse out! I was given another shot of turbutaline and we waited. Nothing happened. Well, let me rephrase that, my contractions didn't stop and actually were progressively getting more painful. I was shaking (side effect from the drug) begging for heartburn meds and in labor. Good lord, it wasn't suppose to happen like this. Okay, shot number two. Sweet relief. The doctor came in and told me not to scare him like that again! He was very reassuring that things were under control now and we could go home to get some rest. He had two instructions for me. Stay horizontal and no sex. Trust me buddy, you don't have to worry about the latter.

My appointment on Thursday showed a slight change in my cervix to 1.5cm but nothing they were overly concerned about. Dr. Tan informed me that if I continued to change that I would be put in the hospital on bed rest. As he explained to me, "I can deliver any size or age baby, it's what I have to do with that baby when it comes out that concerns me". In other words, you are not ready to deliver. Thursday night was a good night. We relaxed at home, watched TV and went through a few more boxes. I woke up on Friday feeling great. I cleaned the kitchen, did some stuff in Addison's room, washed some clothes. I even showered, shaved my legs and did my hair. Billy and I went out for a nice dinner and then they hit. I took my pills to stop the contractions but it didn't seem to be helping. We went back to the hospital.

Last night I received another shot of turbutaline and it stopped my contractions all together! I was put on a special monitor that tracks interference and my uterus never stops having really short spasms. It basically means that I will probably still go early but that a lot of the contractions I am having aren't really "doing" a lot to progress labor, which is good, just annoying. I was taken off my restrictions today except no sex, no heavy lifting and no exercising. We decided that we are going to go to Whiz Bang Day parade tomorrow in our old neighborhood to see some friends after we pick Addie up from Grammy Penny. I'm not sure who is going to be more sad, Addie or Grammy.

I'll keep you posted but we're hoping for at least 3 more weeks in the cooker before we meet little Evie. This week has definitely made her a lot more "real" and I am getting so anxious to meet my little devil! Another head strong girl, hmm...paybacks?

Team America!

It's America's birthday on Sunday. There is something about the fourth of July that gets me every year. I'm not sure if it's the traditions, the fireworks or the relaxation that it brings but it's close to my favorite holiday.

We've spent every fourth of July at the cabin since I can remember. Dad always buys a large array of fireworks and we relax in the yard and shoot them off. Well, most of us relax! If my mom wasn't there chasing dogs, telling my dad to be careful for the 1,000th time and worrying about waking the baby it wouldn't be the fourth.

I am a proud American. I am proud of what our country stands for, or what it stood for. Lately I've been disappointed in the direction of our country. It is no longer founded on the principles our founding fathers expected. It seems to have lost the "We the people" mentality and politicians are now into what they can get out of the deal. It's sad to watch our country lose everything we have to money hungry people.

This fourth of July, I am going to celebrate my freedoms. I am going to say a prayer for all those amazing men and women fighting for the continuance of my freedom and I am going to ask God to help us get back to where America is supposed to be. I'm also going to enjoy watching Addison's expression to her first fireworks show by Grampy Tom, lay in the sun and thank God that within the next month I am going to be a mother of two little girls.

Life is good. Go America