It's starting to get personal.

Maybe it's the fact that I am pregnant and overly emotional, although I would beg to differ, or maybe I am actually being rational about my feelings but I am so sick of people trying to make me feel guilty for my thoughts, feelings or opinions.

Billy and I felt pressured after having Addison that we needed to allow people to visit constantly and it wore me out. My parents were there at the birth and my mom stayed until I returned home from the hospital, leaving our first day back to let us adjust. She and dad then returned once or twice in the first 6 weeks to help out since I was having a hard time. Billy's parents and brother also came about 4 weeks after her birth. We felt like we needed to entertain them since his parents often seem bored just hanging around the house. His mom and dad wanted to go to the Minneapolis Institute of Art and feeling obligated we went. We walked around for the upwards of 5 hours and then went out to dinner. I was so tired and sore that when we got home I took Addie into the bedroom, fed her and fell asleep. It was so overwhelming and stressful that we've made a decision that we're being criticized about.

After Evie's birth we are asking that no one visit for overnight visits for the first 6 weeks, or until we are up to it. There is one exception, my mom will be at Evie's birth and stay with Addie until I return from the hospital. But, much like with Addie, my mom will return home on my first day out of the hospital. There are a few reasons for this decision. First, I want to make sure that I have the adequate amount of time that I need to bond with Evie. I want to feel comfortable breast feeding her before I have to do it in front of people. Secondly, I want Addison to understand that it is going to be the four of us forever now. I want her to get used to the crying, changing, and tired mommy, daddy and sister she is going to have. Third, I want to heal, both physically and emotionally, before having to host people in my home. Our new home is very small and there isn't going to be a lot of privacy when there are visitors. I want to make sure I am ready to have people around constantly and last pregnancy I wasn't quite there yet. And lastly, this pregnancy has really worn me and Billy out. We've been dealing with a lot of tests, unknowns and changes and we just want time to be a family.

There are people who have told us that it "isn't fair" we won't allow them to see the baby right after her birth. That it is selfish that I would "withhold" her. It isn't personal. It isn't like I've told one person that they can't come and the rest of the world is being invited. I'm being mutually exclusive on my NO VISITING policy. Male, female, grandparent, aunt, uncle or friend, your not welcome until we are ready. Sorry if you think we are being rude but it's our decision and you have to respect it.

It's funny how people will give you their opinion on everything. We've been told by someone who will be important in Evie's life that they "aren't crazy" about her name. I wanted to say to them, I didn't ask your opinion and I'm not crazy about your name either but instead I kept my mouth shut. I, personally, don't love the names of some of my friends children but I wouldn't ever tell them that. I'm not naming the kid. I don't have to call the kid by the awful name you just gave them. I don't have to deal with the teasing they are going to get when they are in school with a name like "fill in the blank". So it's not my place to tell you that I hate your kids name.

I needed to get this off my chest, obviously. My husband laughs and tells me I need to let it roll off my shoulders, which is probably true, but I just can't. I want to slap people sometimes and tell them to mind their own business. That it's not my job to accommodate them after my pregnancy and to get over themselves. But instead, I just try to stay polite and explain over and over again that it's not personal, although, maybe it's starting to be.