Leaving the cliques behind...

It's time I get this blog back to what it was going to be, my rants and raves! My kids are doing great...so they don't need too many updates!

I've lived in a small town now for about 9 months. I hated it for the first 3, thought it was okay for the next 2 and have grown to like the simpleness it has brought to our lives. Don't get me wrong, I hate that I have to drive 30 to 40 minutes to get to anything without paying triple for it, but it's nice not having all that right at my fingertips too.

It's funny how in small towns you don't just know everyone around you, you literally know everyone in the county. You can't be sick, yell at your kids or have a bad day without everyone knowing about it. It seems the rules are different too. Drinking and sex seem to be just normal behaviors. Parents throwing keggers, allowing kids to have parties. Boyfriends/Girlfriends sleeping over during the school week. Different.

I know that drinking and sex happen in high school. I know that the temptation is there. But where I grew up it wasn't so OPEN. I didn't ask my mom if Jordan (my high school boyfriend) could spend the night. I didn't ask them to buy me beer or cigarettes. Nope. Not once. Never. Ever.

Bill grew up in a small town. Smaller then the one we live in now. He used to joke that you couldn't fart without people knowing about it. It seems to be true. He used to say that even after high school it felt like the adults never grew out of the cliques, the gossiping and the "he said she said" crap. It's true. There are days it feels like high school; cliques are formed, friends are hard to make and everyone talks about everyone elses life. I hated that about high school. I, personally, hated high school. It was such an important part of my life at the time, such a changing point for a child at that age. The questions of "who am I" and "where do I belong" were often at the forefront of my day.

I look back now and although high school was so fun. And although I made some lifelong friends and learned how to win and lose fairly through volleyball it isn't something I'd chose to do again. I've grown out of the ways of being 17. Instead of having a problem with someone and telling everyone else, I want to work it out. Instead of dating I enjoy being married. Instead of wondering where the next party was, who the next fight would be with or if I'd get asked to Prom I enjoy having my core friends. Knowing that Molly, Monique, Brian, Tori, ect. would be there for me at the drop of a hat, wouldn't ever hurt me and accept me even with faults is comforting.

It's hard moving into a small town. It's hard getting involved. It's hard finding people and having them get to know you. And you don't dare make a mistake. I miss living by my friends, I miss leaving the cliques and insecurities of high school behind. I'm doing my best to find people I can trust, I can friend and I can let all that go. I know they're out there, it's just a matter of time.